Laid Off

No, not me. I still have my job (darn...).

On Thursday, six people in my department were laid off. It was a weird situation. Most of my department works out of NYC and I, and two others, are in our Albany office. This means we get any news dead last. Everyone in the other office saw the six get called in, pack up, and leave. We (the Albany people) had to guess at who the six were because no one would tell us. So annoying.

Come to find out one of the six was actually the manager for the main case I am working on (I'll call the person F). Good thing the case I work on has been very quiet lately. It would have sucked if shit was hitting the fan and then suddenly F wasn't there to help and give advice anymore. Corporate BS makes me mad. Not that they had to lay people off specifically, but the way they did it and what the higher ups tell everyone. Everything they say is dripping with.. untruths.

Another one of the six was a new employee I had been training for the past five months (call this person T). Grrrr. I spent so much time training and advising and developed a good working relationship with T. I really hope T doesn't think the lay off was because of anything I said to management. Nothing I can do about it now I guess. I know how being laid off would make me feel though and I was really shocked T was one of the "chosen". I feel so bad for T and F :/

I'm totally not scared for my job in the slightest. I know I do a really good job and I'm no where near one of the highest paid in the department. Probably more like one of the lowest! I actually have a great salary imo but definitely not compared to most of the other people.

There was a good thing that came out of the lay offs. Our dept was forced to restructure after losing the six people so I ended up being put under a new manager that I'm happy about. Hopefully things go well.

I have been fired once in my life and laid off once in my life. Both times sucked and were emotional but the firing was wayyyy worse. For the lay off, my husband (boyfriend at the time but we were living together) and I both worked at the same place. Already a very small company, they majorly downsized and both R and I got laid off on the same day. It was kind of scary. We were living in an apt at the time though and were able to get unemployment. I had another job two or three weeks later.

I think if I were to get laid off now I'd start applying for lab tech positions again. Maybe look into getting some certifications to compliment my degree. My current job has nothing at all to do with my degree. My choice to accept this job was based solely on its salary and benefits.

I hope T and F have an easy time finding new jobs and never look back! :)

Blogging...

Wow - am I a bad blogger or what?

I read blogs almost everyday and blog surf to find other blogs that seem interesting or that I can relate to. Comments from me are occasional. Most of the time I feel silly leaving the generic "I agree!" or "I support you" comments. Not sure why...

I dream of being one of those writers who post beautiful pictures from their lives and use equally beautiful words to describe their meaningful life experiences. I admire people like this but I am definitely not one of them.

I have found pleasure in writing in the past - college essays that I read and re-read because I liked writing them so much (but don't get me wrong... I seriously dislike "english", grammar and writing classes. I'm wayyy more of a science class type girl), stories I began writing when I was a kid, books of notes that we would pass to each other in middle and high school, beginnings of diaries (i say beginnings because i would NEVER keep up with these). In a very bad time in my life I would take a piece of paper and a pen and write down whatever came to my mind in one very long run on sentence. Sometimes pages and pages of this. And, it did make me feel better... I think. Maybe it was just another way for me to wallow in my misery - hah - I guess I'll never know. I have a few of these pieces of paper still. Reading them brings me right back to that time in my life, so clearly I could practically shut my eyes and expect to be back in time when I open them.

Why did I start this blog if I'm a bad writer? Partly, I have an urge to write things out and plan things, but then my procrastination side takes over and I end up only thinking about the planning instead of actually doing it. *gives procrastinator-jill a swift kick in the ass* I also would like to reach out to other people in similar life situations (and different... I would never turn away a potential friend) and offer my support and receive support.

I think I'm a fairly private person and really, it's not by conscious choice. As you've probably noted from my blog address, I don't feel like many things in my life are worthy of passing on - no one will be interested or I should be asking about you, not telling you about me. Not sure where this comes from but it's definitely there. This blog is attempt to share things about me I would almost never think of sharing with someone in person. An example of this is that no one at all, except R (and whoever has read this blog), knows that I had an HSG done last year. Of people I see or talk to on a regular basis, only R knows this blog exists.

I share everything with R and I do share occasionally with "strangers" and family but mostly I say "I'm fine." when asked and not much more. If someone starts asking questions, I'll gladly answer, almost too willingly ;) but I don't go out of my way to share information. I'm trying to be better about this with my family. I've realized as I've gotten older that I'm not the only one with a "boring" life and that most people who care about you are happy to hear about the little things. I'm sure my mom, grandmother and sisters would be perfectly happy hearing about my latest trip to the grocery store or about someone weird I saw in the elevator. I'm trying to get better about sharing a few of these silly things in order to better keep in touch. I'm hoping this blog will help with that "sharing" learning curve. Life is too short and family is too important not to make the effort.

Imaginary Symptoms

I've been nauseous off and on for about 3 or 4 days now and my bbs hurt. Even though I know the chance is so so so so very small... I can't help but hope. What the heck is wrong with me? *sigh*

This is my constant torture.

Ugh, Monday

Monday's are so much harder after a long break. The last 4 days were awesome in terms of work. I tried not to think about work much at all. Such a relief. But now, so many emails to catch up on and sort through and other work that needs to be done. My time entry is due by noon and it'll be a miracle if I actually get it done. (update: I didn't get it done by noon but it's done now! yay!)

Here is the view out my office window of downtown Albany. The little sign says it's 22 degrees. brr. I'll write more later... really gotta get this work done.

Zone A = F

Well, I give myself an F on completing zone A cleaning last week. However, I did manage to vacuum the living room and the stairs to the second floor. I even moved the couch and vacuumed under and behind it (ew.).

This past Sunday, R and I took a bunch of boxes and storage items down into the unfinished side of the basement. That side is finally complete - we were waiting on the floor being repainted because the contractor screwed up a couple "patch" spots - so now we can actually use it as storage! I'm excited. So, even though I failed on last week's cleaning assignment, the livingroom/diningroom area looks much better.

Zone B is going much better. On Sunday I vacuumed the kitchen and hallway/closet area. I've taken all the recyclables out and the dishes are done so I'll be able to clean the counters.

Still to do in Zone B (the incredibly hopeful list - hah)
-put away/organize things left on counters and island
-clean counter tops and island
-wipe down cabinets and island base
-clean stove and microwave
-vacuum again and mop kitchen floors
-wash dog towels
-clean out 'fridge

I'm feeling much better this week than last. Around Thurs or Fri of last week I started to feel better but the rest of the week sucked. I should keep track of my crazy moods - they don't seem to correspond to PMS or anything so I wonder if there is a pattern...

My better mood could be due to having Thurs and Fri off this week - yay! I can't wait for our 4 day weekend. We aren't doing anything specific but we'll probably try to get some of the last purchases made for the basement remodel project. Just having 4 days to not think about work will be awesome.

I have a ton of painting to do in the basement but other than that, a light is slowly appearing in the renovation tunnel. We need three major things still - ceiling, door, and baseboard. We've picked out all three but haven't purchased them yet. When the painting is done and those three items are installed, the only things left will be to hang cabinet doors and do final touch-ups. I'm pretty stoked about having this project done.

The room (before our mini-flood) was finished but we didn't use it for anything but storage. We've lived here for almost three years now. Silly us. So, it will totally be like we added a large room on to our house. The completed room will be like a tiny apartment - a small "kitchen" area with a cabinet/countertop, sink, mini 'fridge and microwave; a "diningroom" area with a table that we plan to play some poker on!; a "livingroom" area with seating and a TV; a small closet. We'll also have a dartboard corner down there and I've been thinking of adding some bookshelves as well. We shall see. It'll also be a great guestroom. The only thing lacking is a bathroom (which we have NO plans to add :)).

I feel like I have more to say. hmmmm. No, this is long and boring enough already so I'll stop for now ;) and get back to work.

Monday = Hate; Husband = Love

Yesterday sucked. Today is not a ton better, but a little.

I don't even know what was the matter with me yesterday. Everything seemed horrible. I couldn't deal with my projects, my coworkers, my clients... bleh. R went home first (we work at the same place but only sometimes drive in together) and picked up our dog. This is awesome because it saves me 15-20 mins on my drive home. I im'd him from work saying that I was in a completely terrible mood and maybe I shouldn't even come home. Not that I have any other place to go but it was a wonderfully negative thing to say, so I said it.

When I finally got home he was right there to meet me at the door. He had already put pizza in to heat up for me (leftovers I told him earlier that I was going to eat) and gave me a big hug. I cried. I love him so much. I felt like total crap but he was doing his best to try to make me happy.

Oh and Zone A progress? none. (maybe tonight but totally not promising anything!)

I need to hire a cleaning service.

I'm sooo bad at getting the things done that need to be done on a regular basis. When I have lots of tasks looming over me or if I feel like crap (mentally and/or physically) - NOTHING gets done.

My house is a mess right now. It's always balancing right on the edge of "too dirty" but when it's back within my acceptable limits, I put off cleaning. Some of this right now is due to our never-ending basement remodel. Should I clean the kitchen floors only for the messy contractor to track crap all over them again? My answer is always "no".

In order to make a change for a more clean house and a more happy me, I'm going to attempt to put my cleaning duties in perspective. Give myself some attainable goals. I've decided to start this by sectioning off my house into zones and assigning each zone a rotating week. I'm hoping this will make the daunting job a little more feasible.

Zone A - Livingroom/ Diningroom (these are basically the same room so putting them together is a no-brainer. This zone includes stairs to second floor.)
Zone B - Kitchen (includes basement stairs and hallway/coat closet)
Zone C - Bathrooms
Zone D - Master Bedroom, Guest room, & Computer room
Zone E - Basement

Tentative Schedule:
Feb 1st - Feb 7th ---> Zone A
Feb 8th - Feb 14th ---> Zone B
Feb 15th - Feb 21st ---> Zone C
Feb 22nd - Feb 28th ---> Zone D
Mar 1st - Mar 7th ---> Zone A

I'm starting with Zone A because we actually cleared off our entire table on Fri night so that's a start. I will need still need to:
vacuum
dust
clean table once more before the end of the week
wash the couch pillows and blankets
clean and organize any loose crap strewn about
mop tile

Think I can do this in the next 6 days? Ugh, I dunno. Everything seems so doable in the daytime and so horrible when I get home from work. We shall see...

I'm sure this will be revamped over time, depending on how well it's working out. I left the basement off the list because there's nothing much I can do in terms of cleaning until the remodel is done. Also, this list does not include doing things like laundry and dishes which need to be done way more often :)