Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bloggy Award and Playing "Catch-up"

Yeesh, I've been away for a while. I'm so late with this but I was tagged for a blog award by Flying Monkeys and Justina. Thanks so much you two! You are both my very first taggers ;)

I can't for the life of me figure out how to get the award pic to show up in this post but the link to it is:

Rules for the Over The Top Award:
- USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit yourself and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers so try your best. (I totally agree with Flying Monkeys - parenthetical thoughts don't count!)

- Tag 6 other bloggers and let them know that you think they are 'Over the Top'!

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2.Your hair? frizzy
3. Your mother? unforgiven
4. Your father? dead
(4a. Your father ('cause I have two)? microbiologist)
5. Your favorite food? thanksgiving
6. Your dream last night? forgotten
7. Your favorite drink? water
8. Your dream/goal? sahm
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? jogging
11. Your fear? vomit
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? thin
15. Muffins? yum!
16. Wish list item? baby
17. Where did you grow up? MA
18. Last thing you did? emailed
19. What are you wearing? glasses
20. Your TV? timesink
21. Your pets? messy
22. Friends? missed
23. Your life? frustrating
24. Your mood? stressed
25. Missing someone? always
26. Vehicle? silver
27. Something you’re not wearing? watch
28. Your favorite store? Williamsb.urg (this is not a store, it's the town in which my favorite store is)
29. Your favorite color? many (I don't really have just one - I like bright colors and earth tones. If you assumed from my clothes the answer would be brown.)
30. When was the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
32. Your best friend? R
33. One place that I go to over and over? work :(
34. One person who emails me regularly? blogger (ok, so that's not really a person)
35. Favorite place to eat? anywhere!

I tag the following people (and I promise I won't be offended if you don't play along, especially because I'm not sure if any of these people have been tagged for this already):
IF Optimist
kate (Bee in the Bonnet)
Journey Girl
Kate (Living the Dream)
Kate (The Waiting Room; also, she could also use some hugs if you want to stop by her blog)

Hah I know a lot of Kates in blogland apparently!


I'm still jogging. We just finished week 8 and are going to start week 8 over again tonight. I have two weeks of updates to post. But I haven't quit yet! Just had to put that out there! Our goal day of completing the entire thing is set to be Nov 2nd.

I got some comments on my last post praising me on my motivation. Thanks so much to all of you for the compliment but... Seriously? What motivation?? I really don't feel like I have any motivation at all. Which makes me think, maybe I'm wrong. I suppose I could just not be going out there three times a week. But, all I can think about is that I should be doing BETTER or doing it MORE OFTEN. I dunno...

On most days I have to literally drag myself out there kicking and screaming. I hate going. It hurts, it's so crappy to feel like that for a half hour. But then, afterwards, I feel good. It's so odd. If I didn't have my first goal of getting all the way through this 9 week program I would have quit long ago. Just knowing that it feels good afterwards is not enough to get me out there. C is a huge part of why I haven't given up yet. She is working towards our goal too so on the days one of us is throwing a tantrum (usually me) the other one helps motivate. I might be still doing this if she wasn't going with me, but probably not.

I have a blogging problem. I read too many blogs (and try to comment as much as I can) to actually update my own blog on a regular basis. I obviously can't read blogs/write posts all day long and I'm having trouble finding a nice balance. Every day I think about posting, but then I end up only reading others' blog posts and then the day is over.

I also have a problem blogging about bad things. I have before but I think really letting it all hang out (so to speak) would be helpful for me. For whatever reason, when I'm really upset, I don't want to hash it all out again. Shame? Denial? I really have no idea.


I've been feeling really crazy lately. Work is making me lose my mind. The problem is, I don't think it's this job in particular. I think it's just any job mixed with my mental stability. I'm not a good enough writer to explain this well but, most times, when I'm at work, I feel like I just can't handle it all anymore. Stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, restlessness - something is making me go absolutely bonkers at work (and at home when thinking about work). It's not fun and it's making R crazy too having to watch me freak out over and over. I'm thinking about looking for a therapist/counselor/psychologist.

Last week R and I took a week off from work. I felt really happy most of the week. I thought it might help with my craziness but as soon as I got in on Monday, I fell apart again.


We didn't do anything specific for our vacation. We got some things done that would be harder to do while working. We both went and got eye exams and new glasses - something I haven't done in two years (even longer for R). I cleaned out half of our garage. We hung around and watched TV, played computer games, and just enjoyed not working. It was nice. I wish I could be on vacation forever! :)


Hmm I have blogging back-up here and there is much more to say but this is getting really long.

Happy ICLW! If you are here reading my blog for the first time and got hit with this post... oops! sorry :)


  1. I know what you mean about "any job + mental instability". Sometimes even on an easy day at work, I go nuts the moment I walk in the door. I think my body is trained to get all stressed as soon as I think about work, and I need to retrain it to stop freaking out so much.

    I'm looking to start therapy myself, so I think it's a good idea if you want to start going :). Can't hurt, right?

  2. hey, thanks for the tag!!! i've been a bum commenting lately, so i'll try to be better & deserve it. :)
    i'm sorry about the job... that's how i felt right before i quit the firm i worked at. while i ended up leaving, in hindsight, maybe seeing someone (a therapist, etc) might have helped me make it work. or at least deal with the things that made working there so hard for me.

    & if you find the time &/or inspiration, i'd love to read more about "you"... good, bad or ugly. for me, that's what blogs are for... its a place to let it all out, so to speak. ((hugs)) way to persist thru the whole working out thing-- you're doing awesome!!!! :)

  3. Running is all about the "afterburn"... I'm always glad when it's over, too.

    Have a wonderful ICLW, in spite of the working thing!

  4. What a way to catch up in one posting!

  5. Whoa, lots of info :)

    Sounds like things are very hectic, I hope things slow down soon.


  6. Very nice update. I'm glad you took a week off and got things done.

  7. As for motivation, registering for races in advance can be a great one , or logging your runs on some sports/running-community site. I'm a member of the runners community on livejournal and they're such an awesome bunch I can't tell you.

  8. What an interesting journey you've been on! And, I also thoroughly admire your motivation! At least you're getting out there and doing it! No one said you had to enjoy it! lol

    Work can be stressful. I just told a friend of mine yesterday that I love the work I do, I just hate all the drama and politics involved. It drives me crazy! I, too, desire to be a SAHM mom someday!

    Good luck with your remaining running goal!

  9. ICLW - I used to run years ago, my hubby trained me for my first (and last) 10k run. I learned one thing - I did it and felt good about it, but I'm not a runner. Not in my heart. They talk about the runner's high and all that, and yes, I guess I felt it a time or two, but my body doesn't have a true talent at it.

    As for getting a shrink - I've had a couple in my time - and it's great. Sometimes it's a great tool to help you stir things up in your life in a good way.

  10. Aw - thanks for the award, sweets - I am really flattered!! Wow, that is a lot to catch up on in the one post! Good on you for completing week 8 - sensational work!! I am back in training for a 10km the weekend before we go to Thailand so I am virtually jogging with you, sister!! I am with you - I can't say that there are man times when I enjoy jogging - I do love it when it's over as you know but there are some days when I have a good run and it is like the holy grail, I keep chasing it!!

    I have had that happen with work too - there were many times when I was just overwhelmed and would freak out. I am better now, for me the solution was contracting - it gave me distance and definitely has reduced the stress for me significantly.

    Great update - thanks!!

  11. "I have a blogging problem. I read too many blogs"

    If you start up a Bloggers Anonymous chapter, I'll buy the first round of coffee.

    Good job on the fitness program!

  12. count me in for the bloggers anonymous meetings, it really does become all consuming! i think that is wonderful that you are jogging. i am starting walking on monday, we will see if i ever make it up to jogging.


  13. "On most days I have to literally drag myself out there kicking and screaming. I hate going. It hurts, it's so crappy to feel like that for a half hour. But then, afterwards, I feel good."

    You've hit the nail on the head there! I have such a phobia of working out that I've followed my husband out the door with real tears stinging my eyes. But I always feel better afterwards.

    You do have some sore of motivation to get out and run 3 times a week, and to stick to a 9 week plan. I never can stick with anything more than 2 weeks!

    Well, I'll think of this post this week as I try to get back into an exercise routine.

    I *did* find your blog for the first time through ICLW and I'm so glad I did. This is the type of post that makes me want to come on back. You seemed to blog about the negative in your life just fine!

    I've seen a counselor several times in my life. It can be helpful.

  14. Hi, welldone on the award! It's always nice to get them. And I hear you on fining the balance between posting on your blog and reading other bloggers'! I'm the same! I'll try and update mine now. Much love, Fran


  15. Nice 'catch-up', & nice to learn a bit more about you from that list. :)

    ~ Happy ICLW ~