Monday, October 26, 2009

My Weekend and An Upcoming Appt

R is traveling for work. He left on Sat (10/24) morning and he'll be home later today. This marks the longest I've been home alone without him. There have been nights when he's had to work, or a weekend day when he was gone and I was home, but I'm usually the one who does the traveling. I travel to NYC for work (though I haven't now since early this year) for multiple days or I go off to visit my grandma and leave for the weekend.

Two nights by myself in our king size bed was weird!

However, I don't mind. I like to be by myself every once in a while and being at home alone for 2 days/2 nights was kind of like "playing house", except opposite. Instead of "playing house" with a "mommy" and a "daddy", I was "playing house" as a bachelorette ;)

Don't get me wrong, I missed R like crazy and can't wait for him to be home tonight so I can give him a kiss and a snuggle!

Of course, I wasn't really alone. River was with me almost every single moment. Velcro-dog that he is. And, C came over for a while on both Sat and Sun.

But at night, I was alone. I pottied the dog, fed the cats, got ready for bed, made sure the house was in night lock-down, and went to sleep... alone. Reading back, this seems silly and like no big deal. I guess it's just the fact that it almost never happens so it was a little adventure.

And I only freaked myself out listening to weird noises a few times! hehe


C and I had a very nice weekend. On Sat we decided to make a big dinner so we hunted through recipes, made a shopping list, and went shopping. It was rainy all day which = one very bored dog, so I took Riv with us in the car.

We decided on an herb roasted pork loin with onions, apples, and squash. It was delicious. I don't have the recipe with me (it's from a magazine) and I can't find it online or else I'd link to it. The pork was sort of "dry rubbed" with nutmeg, garlic, and sage, then browned in butter and roasted in the oven to finish it off. The apples, onions, and squash were put together with some garlic and honey mustard and baked. There were some things we'd tweek a little if we made it again but it was a very yummy recipe.

We also made spaetzle for a side dish from this recipe. I had never heard of spaetzle before (apparently neither has blogger!) and had just seen it that morning on a foo.d netw.ork show. I love trying new things and it looked like fun to make. It turned out well - like an eggy homemade pasta in butter. yum. I will definitely be making it again. Suggestion: if you try making this, when you remove them from the boiling water, put them in a strainer first, then into the buttered bowl. At first I was getting a lot of excess water in my bowl, even though I was shaking off as much water as I could.

There were big plans to make a pumpkin banana tart for dessert but there was too much food as it was.

We watched Mama Mia while we ate. Very girlie (imo) but I love musicals (and so does C) so it was enjoyed. Funny thing - the main character is named "Sophie" and maybe half way through I turned to C and said "awww Sophie/Sophia is such a cute name!" (C and I talk baby names sometimes) and C shoots me this just slightly worried look. So I said "oh, was that one of your baby names?" and she said "yeah...". Hah poor girl probably thought I was going to steal it from her. Not that she has anything to worry about. Who me? Have a baby? um, not.

On Sun we got together again and made these oatmeal cookies. They are so good! I'm eating one right now (just ate leftovers from Sat's dinner for lunch!) I really like crispy cookies and the orange zest in this recipe adds something really nice. We also went for a hike with River. It was chilly but a really nice day. Ahh autumn... I wish it could stay colorful and crisp outside and just not turn into winter.

I also got laundry done and a whole mess of dishes (since there were dirties before we even started all our crazy cooking! and now there are only a few). It was a very nice weekend.


So, I POAS this morning. It, of course, was negative. I already knew it would be but I'm a special kind of crazy and I hadn't peed on something since June! haha

Seriously though, I looked back at my FF logs and I haven't had much more than spotting for over a year now. The last day I was able to guess was "CD1" was in July. I am so very broken. I watch those "I didn't know I was pregnant!!" shows and alternate from thinking to myself, "wow, how the heck could that even happen?" to "shit, that could totally happen to me!" No period for months on end? normal. Fatigue? normal. Fluttering/pokes in abdomen? eh, intestinal issues. Cramps? who the f knows. Weight gain? normal (see above weekend food orgy).

If I didn't POAS every once in a while I swear (if some sort of freak miracle occurred), I could end up on that show!

Because of all this, a few weeks ago I made a gyn appt at a new-to-me fertility/gyn clinic. It is for this Wed morning. The place is related to the fertility clinic I went to in the spring of '08 but this one is a non-fertility related gyn in addition to the fertility stuff. The big fertility place was all about getting me pregnant and not about figuring out what's wrong. I want to be pregnant more than anything but ART is not for us right now (and maybe ever). I want them to help me figure out why I barely ever get a period and why (I think) I don't ovulate.

I'm assuming nothing of any value will come from this appt. I'm jaded and I don't believe doctors can solve any of my issues. I've seen doctors for many different things and have been let down so many times. But with a new place comes new possibilities so... maybe it could be the start of something good.


  1. Sometimes the quiet can put you back into the light. I hope the doctors can figure out your cycle questions. I can't imagine what you are going through with the period/not period period.

  2. It must be frustrating not to have a regular cycle. I agree with finding out what is wrong instead of just working towards getting pregnant. I hope that you find some answers at the new clinic.

  3. I hope the new doctors are at least willing to look into whatever hormonal reasons there are for not conceiving and work to correct those instead of rushing you straight to ART.
    I'm glad you managed to have a fun weekend, even without your hubby!

  4. Your weekend sounds great, minus the BFN. I know the feeling of enjoying alone time, but missing them when they are OOT.

    Looking forward to catching up with your blog!

  5. I'll cross my fingers that this appointment will prove to be a valuable one. Even if it only brings a glimmer of hope. I know how you feel about worthless doctor appointments, though. I've been to too many to count.

  6. I always freak myself out good when I'm at home by myself at night. Every little bump or creak or scratch makes me hyper alert. I do like having some space to myself in the bed, but I always end up missing him.

    Oh, spaetzle. I *so* need to make some for my very German husband. But I am lazy, so, so lazy.

    It's funny, because I watch that "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant!" show all the time, and I never find it as shocking, because after living with PCOS for so many years, you really start to realize that mid-cycle cramping and a semi-flow period and long lengths between cycles and nausea and tiredness are ALL very common. The number of times I could have been pregnant but wasn't are baffling. If by some miracle, I had ended up pregnant before treatments, I don't know if I would have thought to take a test at the right time!

  7. Is River the australian cattle dog you mentioned? Thanks for clue-ing me in to the snow dog we ran across yesterday.

    Hope things go fantastically at the new-to-you clinic!

  8. Oh, spaetzle is great! We use it for soup noodles or as a side dish to stew or with scrambled eggs and lettuce. I love it!

    Also, I'm alone in the house so often that I can hardly get those people who never do/freak out alone/etc. Of course, it would be nicer if hubby didn't work nights

  9. We've made spaetzle a few times, I found draining it on paper towels helps alot with the excess water issues. Good luck with your apt. I hope you get some answers.

  10. Oh gosh, I just love your pics of River - we call them Blue Heelers in Australia, my brother has one, River is GORGEOUS!! I need to post a pic of JourneyDog that is Woolly on my blog, he would garner heaps of fans I reckon - he's a bit of a looker himself and seriously, I was at a pet shop today and SO wanted to buy another little fluffy as a friend for JourneyDog but it would not be fair to get a puppy a few weeks before we go away - der!!

    Cripes, that would drive me mental the on again, off again relationship you have with your period. I haven't caught up completely on your blog but have your tried acupuncture, I have heard that it works to regulate irregular cycles (I know you are probably going, der - as if I haven't thought of that, Doofus - I am not offended if your were, stupid comment anyway). If you can tolerate another stupid suggestion, the castor oil pack may also help out too!! Of course these most likely won't tell you why it is happening to you (gosh, can someone shut me up!!).

    Spaetzle - what the!??!?! I have never heard of it but will have to try it, sounds yum.

    Bloody hell, I have taken up too much of your space already - over and out my friend, have a good week!!

  11. All your cooking sounds yummy. Spatzel is yummy. My parents get a box of it and make it with green beans. I hope your new fertility clinic and the injectables works out!