Wednesday, July 21, 2010

"Everyone hates their jobs..."

I successfully avoided the baby party thing for my coworker yesterday. I kind of feel bad that I didn't go but I just couldn't have handled it.

The therapist didn't call me back yesterday, so I was all ready to start looking for others today, but then she called me this morning. I have an appt at 9am on Wednesday and I'm nervous. Nervous that I really have no reason to be going. Nervous that she'll tell me I'm just being a big baby and that I need to suck it up and just deal. Nervous that she won't actually say that but she'll think it. Nervous that I won't know what to say... Oh it just goes on and on.

And - I'd just like to say that my insurance sucks. I have to meet a deductible before they'll pay for therapy sessions at all so this first one will be a nice $120. She said to me, "Did you still want to make an appt?" after she told me about the cost. I said, "Well, yes. I don't really have any other choice." I suppose I have another choice. I could just suck it up and deal with life. *sigh*

I'm thinking about a career change. Maybe an internal move within my company but there are limited departments I could move to and I have no idea if things would be any better. I'm also thinking about going back to school. I enjoy school (learning new things, going to labs and lectures) but I absolutely hate tests and projects. My procrastinating nature makes those aspects incredibly stressful. Maybe going back to school isn't the best idea but right now I'm floundering around trying to come up with things to make my life better.

People keep telling me "everyone hates their jobs". That can't be true, can it? Someone out there must enjoy doing what they do for a living. I mean, I understand there are always bad things to deal with - some people suck to deal with, some days you just dread getting up and leaving the house, sometimes you have to do things for work you'd rather not do - but overall, is it unrealistic to think there might be something out there that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes (or someone else's...) out with a spoon? Because there is no aspect of my job that I enjoy doing and I'm not at all interested in the topics that my job deals with. I'm only at this job for the money and benefits and the big benefit of working at the same place as R.

If I could only smack my 18 year old self across the face and tell her that she needs to think in terms of a career sooner rather than later. Something in a science related field because that is where my interests lie.


  1. I am always nervous about new things so I think your nervousness is normal. I doubt she will tell you your being a baby so don't worry about that.

    Good luck with figuring out what you want to do and finding a new job. If I was younger again I would major in something different as well. Oh well.

  2. I don't think everyone hates their jobs. I think that in my job history, the more money I made, the more I hated my job. Weird, huh? Working as a HS teacher was my favorite, most-fulfilling job; working in an office environment in a fast-paced job for a jerky boss was my least favorite.
    I think if I rejoin the workforce at some point it will be doing something with kids. If you know what you'd like to do, maybe you could take small steps to get there? Like instead of going back to school full-time, how about a couple online classes?

  3. It's never too late to go back to school! It may suck to do projects and take tests but if it's on things that you want to learn about it won't be too bad. And not everyone hates their jobs. I love my job! Not all day every day but generally speaking I really love my job. I've made more money elsewhere but money obviously doesn't buy happiness. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

  4. Glad about the therapist, but the insurance thing sucks.
    Hubby told me once that he swore that he'd never work a job that he hated, and he hasn't. One day I'll love mine, when all the schooling is over.
    Don't resent your 18 yo self, more than likely things have changed enough that now you have a better understanding of what you really want.

  5. Great for finding a therapist. I remember the insurance days and remember too that most of em suck! I also remember the working days... my favorite and most enjoyable job was when I worked in MY own business with Super S. School is always good no matter what age, my mother didnt get her masters until she was over 40! By the way pop-under ads are gone girl, visit more often! (I dont know how they got there but I figured how to turn those annoying things off!) xoxo

  6. Before my first appt I was such a nervous wreck that I couldn't fill out the paperwork... I was shaking too much. I almost never went back, but then I thought, it has to get easier from now. And it did. I'm so so glad I made it through those begining jitters. Therapy was a huge help these past years.

    As for jobs, I love mine (most days). I went back to school seven yrs ago and am so glad I changed directions in my career. I started by just taking a class hereand there to be sure I liked it. You should see if you can audit a class near you. Less work, no grade, but you get the experience and knowledge of the subject matter.

  7. I can 100% say that I really and truly do LOVE my job. It was my dream job since a sophomore in college and it has turned out to be everything I wanted. Sure there are days that it is overwhelming and too high-stress, but in the end it is rewarding and fulfilling.

    I would just say that it's NEVER too late to change things up. If you want to go back to school, do it! It's funny, when we got married I talked about going back to get my MBA, but kept putting it off thinking a baby was around the corner. Needless to say, we'll welcome the baby a month after our 4th wedding and TTC anniversary. I could have had my MBA long ago with no problem, but I kept putting it off. If there's one lesson that taught me, it's definitely not to put things off because you're waiting for something else. Maybe you could take a few classes or even just try to find a job in a field that you might like and see how it works out. I'm all about finding your place.

  8. We spend way too much time at our jobs to hate it. Seriously, I spend more time at work than I do anything else other than sleeping - why would you stay in something that you hate???

    Good luck with the therapist. She will NOT tell you that you don't need to be there - just be honest with her about what's going on, and tell her that you need help working through your feelings. Thinking of you!!!

  9. I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time :(

    It's true, not everyone hates their jobs. I loved my last one. My husband loves his job. It's about finding something you are good at! It's never to late to go back to school!

    Good luck with the therapist. I think it will be great! It's always good to have someone from the outside (who is a professional!) talk you through things.

    Hang in there. I'm thinking about you :)

  10. LOL, I'd like to smack my 18 year old self as well. Is there a line for that forming somewhere?

  11. Since a couple of days I've been following your blog. I'm sorry to hear you feel bad.
    About you job.... I hate my job too. Every morning it takes so much energy to even get ready for a 'day at the office'. I'm not sure if I just hate my job, or that it's related to the kind of depressed feeling I have because of the IF... Do you know for youself? Hang in there and thanks for sharing your feelings. It makes me feel less lonely in the 'IF world'...

  12. I love my job and the company I work for. So no that statement isn't true. I have an amazing team I support they are fun, friendly and easy to work for. I hope you find the job you love it makes life so much better.

  13. I think I've read a bunch of posts and just haven't commented until now. I'm sorry for that. I think of the comment and then don't make it to my phone to do it before something else takes over my brain. My work pc trips when I comment, they're conspiring against me. Haha?

    Welli want you to know that I do think of you and send positive vibes your way. The job thing, I agree most hate theirs, but i've also been there at wanting to stick pens in my eyes bc it's so bad! And that feeling SuCKS! And unless a change is made, it usually doesn't lift easily. So changing depts sounds good to me. I say go for it!

    I hope your appt goes well. I know it's not easy, but I'm here to support you even though I've been crappy at commenting, even withy whoa is me post.


  14. I am also going through infertility. I have been in the battle of seven years. I have done it all....years of infertility treatments, IVF, 3 failed adoptions...and so on. It is one of the hardest things I have had to endure. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and this journey. I found you just through blog hoping.

    I have just started my own blog. It is not about my journey, or how to get pregnant, or all the methods out there. It is more about "keeping the hope" for you, others, me, and just anyone. It was started after a very long emotional blog on my family blog. someone read my blog and started a facebook group called "Keeping the hope for you." It was for my friends and family to keep the hope of me while I did not have the energy to do in myself. So hence my blog...

    That is what the blog is about...helping everyone and anyone who either wants to keep the hope for them or a love one. keep our spirits up while we ride with roller coaster. I hope you stop by. I would love your comments, ideas, and thoughts.

    keeping the hope for you.....Amanda