I successfully avoided the baby party thing for my coworker yesterday. I kind of feel bad that I didn't go but I just couldn't have handled it.
The therapist didn't call me back yesterday, so I was all ready to start looking for others today, but then she called me this morning. I have an appt at 9am on Wednesday and I'm nervous. Nervous that I really have no reason to be going. Nervous that she'll tell me I'm just being a big baby and that I need to suck it up and just deal. Nervous that she won't actually say that but she'll think it. Nervous that I won't know what to say... Oh it just goes on and on.
And - I'd just like to say that my insurance sucks. I have to meet a deductible before they'll pay for therapy sessions at all so this first one will be a nice $120. She said to me, "Did you still want to make an appt?" after she told me about the cost. I said, "Well, yes. I don't really have any other choice." I suppose I have another choice. I could just suck it up and deal with life. *sigh*
I'm thinking about a career change. Maybe an internal move within my company but there are limited departments I could move to and I have no idea if things would be any better. I'm also thinking about going back to school. I enjoy school (learning new things, going to labs and lectures) but I absolutely hate tests and projects. My procrastinating nature makes those aspects incredibly stressful. Maybe going back to school isn't the best idea but right now I'm floundering around trying to come up with things to make my life better.
People keep telling me "everyone hates their jobs". That can't be true, can it? Someone out there must enjoy doing what they do for a living. I mean, I understand there are always bad things to deal with - some people suck to deal with, some days you just dread getting up and leaving the house, sometimes you have to do things for work you'd rather not do - but overall, is it unrealistic to think there might be something out there that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes (or someone else's...) out with a spoon? Because there is no aspect of my job that I enjoy doing and I'm not at all interested in the topics that my job deals with. I'm only at this job for the money and benefits and the big benefit of working at the same place as R.
If I could only smack my 18 year old self across the face and tell her that she needs to think in terms of a career sooner rather than later. Something in a science related field because that is where my interests lie.