Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Wild* Hope and Powerful Dreams

I dreamt I was pregnant. That's obviously not a rare dream topic.

I dreamt I was pregnant with quadruplets.

I was excited, and scared, and crying, and worried.

I wanted all four with all my heart, yet I didn't want to jeopardize all of them by trying to bring all of them into the world.

I was scared to tell my husband, but when I told him he was surprisingly less freaked than I thought he'd be.

This dream will never be finished, it will never have an ending.

It was a powerful dream.

I'm still thinking about it now.

I've, once again, let hope creep way too far into my brain and heart for my own good. So far in that I know that if this is it, I'd be due at the beginning of Dec. I had some twinges and cramping yesterday morning on the way in to work. I very rarely have cramps, not even during AF.

Yet, at the same time, I know that this is not IT. And I know I'll be sad when that nasty glimmer of hope is crushed once again.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a tease that I might be pregnant. I know I'm not. But Hope doesn't give a shit what I know.

adj. wild·er, wild·est
1. Occurring, growing, or living in a natural state; not domesticated, cultivated, or tamed: wild geese; edible wild plants
2. Not inhabited or farmed: remote, wild country
3. Uncivilized or barbarous; savage
4. a. Lacking supervision or restraint: wild children living in the street
b. Disorderly; unruly: a wild scene in the school cafeteria
c. Characterized by a lack of moral restraint; dissolute or licentious: recalled his wild youth with remorse
5. Lacking regular order or arrangement; disarranged: wild locks of long hair
6. Full of, marked by, or suggestive of strong, uncontrolled emotion: wild with jealousy; a wild look in his eye; a wild rage
7. Extravagant; fantastic: a wild idea.
8. Furiously disturbed or turbulent; stormy: wild weather
9. Risky; imprudent: wild financial schemes
10. a. Impatiently eager: wild to get away for the weekend
b. Informal Highly enthusiastic: just wild about the new music
11. Based on little or no evidence or probability; unfounded: wild accusations; a wild guess

12. Deviating greatly from an intended course; erratic: a wild bullet


  1. You did have a crazy dream too like me! Isn't it weird how it can stay with you all day long??? I like your definitions of wild - strong, uncontrolled emotions - what, in IF? Of course not!!! :) Oh I hope - so hope for you this is it. I'll hope for you - ok???

  2. Me too girl, I so hope you get quads or at least one healthy one right, what a dream! Thinking of you. xoxo

  3. What a dream - it's amazing how vivid those are, and how much they become a part of our waking day. Hugs and hope to you.

  4. Wow, what a dream! I've had pg dreams, but not with quads (I don't think). I'm not a runner, but I'm a brisk walker. Congrats on your goals! I'll be rootin' for ya!

    Happy ICLW! (#141)

  5. Holy crazy dream! Quads?!

    I have dreams like that, that stick with you, though they usually aren't about good things.

    I hope your dream comes true...do you want me to hope for the quad part too? ; )

  6. That's a crazy dream! I never dreamt quads, but I did dream about having triplets! And this past pregnancy, I did actually get pregnant with triplets but one never grew. Now I have 6 month old twins and a 3 year old. Happy ICLW!

  7. Dreams can be so vivid and realistic sometimes, that it's scary!
    Hoping for you...maybe not for 4, but just one one or two would work, right?

  8. I'm going to add my hope to the buckets that you have already received from the blogosphere. I'm with you though, sometimes hope can be a demon and of course, as such not someone you want to invite into your house. Sometimes it's very, very nice to dream, yes?

  9. Ugh. Hope is such a wanton whore. She creeps in wherever she can, making us believe that those dreams might be real. I had those kinds of dreams before I became pregnant, and waking up was always so bleepin' awful, because it feels so good to believe that it IS happening (not that it *might*, not believing that it *will*, but that it is ACTUALLY happening. Sigh.).

    But yeah. Quads would scare the crap out of me. I caught two programs recently that featured two different sets of exceedingly rare identical quads, and WOAH. That stuff is CRAZY. So, you are right on to be freaking out about that in your dream. I would!

  10. "Hope doesn't give a shit about what I know." My favorite line in your post. Here's to hoping hard for you that your dream comes true. :-)

  11. The pregnancy dreams are always the hardest for me. I wake up and all I want to do is go back to sleep!

  12. I hope reading my blog didn't contribute to your dream. =( I actually dreamed of quads 2 night before we found out we were having quads. Ever since then dreams make me a little uneasy.

    I know how powerful dreams can be and that incredibly painful ache you're left with when you open your eyes. I really hope your dream (though perhaps with twins? safer ...) comes true soon.

  13. Pregnancy dreams always keep me thinking all day that maybe it i trying to tell me something. It causes the hope to come back. I never want to wake up when I am having those dreams. I hope one day soon that it is not just a dream for you or for me. ((HUGS))

  14. I hope that one day, this isn't just a dream and that you have the baby you're dreaming of.

  15. Maybe its in the water. I've been having dreams like that too... only I was pregnant with 7! Didn't tell anyone IRL that dream. (We're not even trying right now). I hope your dream, or at least some part of it comes to fruition!

    Happy ICLW

  16. *hugs* I have had weird dreams too, but oddly barely any have me being pregnant in them. The last dream I had a cow got in my mother in law's kitchen!