“i need to change a diaper, brb”

Stab me in the heart, why doncha?

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I’m sitting here working, glued to my laptop, in a dark office (shades are drawn because the house AC can’t quite reach up here and it is h.o.t. today), wishing I was outside enjoying the beautiful weather or at least sitting downstairs in the cooler, sunny, living room watching TV. It is so warm today – lovely blue skies and green grass.

But, I’m working.

My job requires that we work whenever we have to. I was up until 2am this morning working. (though, I admit, that is partly because I was procrastinating - reading blogs - woops) Our pain-in-the-ass client has finally decided to leave us, much to the happiness of our VP, since they were problematic, scrooge-like, assholes that were never happy no matter how much we busted our butts for them. In the midst of agreements on final specs to close out their account, they decided they wanted us to complete several large projects for them, urgently (OMG GET THIS DONE ASAP!!!), due in less than a week. This was far from even possible and they have since rethought their “urgent” deadline, changing it from April 28th to May 1st. The departments I coordinate with say they can do it… we shall see. (me, negative? No WAY!)

In order to even have a chance at making these deadlines, I, and my coworker, have to work for the better part of this weekend and probably all day on Monday, late into the night – think, 9, 10, 11pm – whatever it takes. I do feel lucky to have this job but it can be very stressful and annoying. This client makes me want to quit, become a hit man, and hunt them ~the eff~ DOWN. *grumble*

My dog is sick.

Not sure exactly what’s wrong with him but he’s been gagging and sneezing since last night. He sleeps in our bedroom and we were woken up every hour or so by a crazily exploding dog – AAAAAAACHOOOOOOOO!!! Actually more like PPPFFFFTTHPTPPPPPPTH!! as he blows air out of his nostrils and shakes his head back and forth. I called the vet this morning at 8am (remember, I went to bed at 2am and I was woken up all night, every hour *rubs eyes and yawns* hey, it's not like I have a newborn or something) and they can’t really do anything for him except give him antibiotics. Going to the vet is very stressful for him. If I need to, I’ll bring him in on Monday morning. I think he’ll be fine though; he’s had this type of thing in the past and it was annoying but no big deal.

I had a pregnancy dream this morning.

I dreamt I was very pregnant and was waiting around to go into labor. I was starting to talk to my mom about how I wanted to try and stay drug-free and I was worried that she would argue with me. I was also telling R that I was just going to go to dog class with river and I would leave immediately if I thought labor was starting – no one liked that idea ;) My youngest sister was in my dream and she was pregnant too, but a few months behind me. I keep remembering feeling my stomach and being in awe. I remember finally ending up with a c-section and having twins. I looked at my c-section scar and lamented the fact that it formed an upside-down cross :/ on my belly when it joined with my vertical ovarian cyst removal scar. Doh. (that all too real scar, runs from 2 inches above my belly-button ALL the way down…) There was much more to the dream but it’s fading quickly.

The dream was very real. I woke to the aforementioned “PPPFFFFTTHPTPPPPPPTH!!” and thought for a moment, “wait a minute, I’m not pregnant and I don’t have newborn twins…” *sigh*.

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So, back to my current situation.
I’m speaking with my coworker, P, through IMs, about our current projects and he messages me “i need to change a diaper, brb”. Thanks, P, for sharing that with me.

Stab me in the heart, why doncha?

I really needed to be reminded of the fact that you have two very small children and I have none. I'm not mad at him, I know it was a very inconsequential statement - it just hit a raw nerve at the "perfect" moment.